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I have been a private investigator for over fifteen years and have conducted many domestic investigations, performed many background checks, and many, many hours of surveillance. Throughout the years, I have become sensitive to the "red flags" that may indicative that someone in a relationship was being unfaithful.
Also, please note that I am not an attorney and am not providing legal advice. When in doubt, check with your attorney or other legal advisor-especially in matters regarding your partner's privacy. So, let me share with you a number of subtle and not-so-subtle clues that you should be aware of, should you suspect that your spouse or partner is being unfaithful. While none of these "red flags" automatically mean you are being deceived, they should be regarded as possible indicators of deceit, to determine if further investigation is warranted.
Usually, the thing that will tip you off is a change in behavior. So, let's look at just a few of the behaviors that you might observe, if your loved one was being unfaithful:. Again, let me reiterate that these behaviors are only indicators of a cheating husband and are not absolutes.
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Some cheating husbands are very deceitful and can cover their tracks superbly. They may become more attentive in an effort to compensate for the fact that their attentions are going elsewhere. They behave like "model" parents in an effort to alleviate their guilt. They can juggle the extra-marital relationship, while tending to the marriage in a seemingly flawless way. They may also have friends that will help them to get out of the house or provide alibis for the cheater. These are the people who are the hardest to catch, and the ones who cause the most pain when they are finally caught.
If you accuse your partner and are mistaken, you risk causing unnecessary and irreparable damage to your relationship…damage that may take a lot of time to recover from. And, even if you are correct, it's quite possible that your spouse will be able to explain his behavior in a manner that's sufficient to cause you raise reasonable doubt.
And, because he is now aware that you are suspicions, he will be even more careful and more guarded, making it much more difficult for you to determine the truth. If you become suspicious, don't treat the cheater any differently and don't interfere. Now is the time for careful observation, and not for anger.
How Often Do Husbands Cheat on Their Wives?
The cheater will eventually be found out, so it's important to be patient, observant, and to make note of patterns of behavior. After some patient observation you'll probably be able to provide a great deal of helpful information to a professional investigator, so that the investigator can obtain the documentation you need. The more information you have regardless of whether you think it's important or not , the greater the likelihood an investigator can determine the truth…and do it in the most cost-effective manner.
A final word of caution: If you think a spouse or partner is misbehaving while you're out of town, you may consider pretending to plan a trip out of town, in order to conduct your own surveillance and confirm your suspicions.
10 Signs Your Husband Is Having An Affair
You should be discouraged from doing this is because if your suspicions are confirmed, your emotions may cause you to react in a manner that is counter-productive. Emotions can make all us behave in a reactionary way, and at moments like this, it's vitally important to keep a cool head. So, if this idea still appeals to you, consider having a private investigator conduct surveillance during this time. What if you're absolutely certain your spouse IS cheating? How do you handle it? If your intention is to file for divorce if your suspicion is confirmed, then first seek the counsel of an attorney.
Find out about how to protect yourself financially, and get an understanding of the laws regarding child custody and support. If you feel you absolutely must confront the alleged cheater, make sure to do so at a time when he is not rushed or running late. You want him to have time to speak with you. Don't ask while he is driving and of course: don't ask while children are present. Before you actually confront him, ask simple, non-invasive questions to get an idea of his general attitude and willingness to talk in general.
You will do this for the same reason that a person operating a polygraph machine might: to establish an idea of their "baseline". So, for example, ask what he wants for breakfast, or what he has planned for the day…or anything else that he can respond to easily. Then just observe his general behavior. You can expect him to be defensive. He may become evasive and reply with something like, "What makes you think that?
Or, he may get indignant and say "Why on earth would you say such a thing? Often, innocent people will respond directly by saying, "Yes" or "No".
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In hindsight, however, the warnings signs always appear obvious. In fact, there are so many telltale lists of infidelity cues that it is hard to know what to believe see signs of cheating. Providing a list of the signs of cheating is often counterproductive. First, any given behavior is open to multiple interpretations.
Could it be due to some other reason?
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For instance, does your spouse clear his or her call log after each call? Dwelling on such matters tends to make people more suspicious. The way people generally handle their suspicion ends up helping a cheating spouse. Suspicious individuals tend to signal their doubts by making accusations, acting anxiously, being overly inquisitive, and so on. So, cheating spouses constantly monitor their partners for signs of suspicion. Simply speaking, suspicion tends to help cheaters cheat more effectively.
When you put it all together, cheaters have the advantage: both trust and suspicion tend to work in their favor. While it is helpful to talk to partners about most relationship problems, this is NOT the case when it comes to infidelity. A cheating spouse will almost never admit to infidelity, unless presented with evidence to the contrary. Along the same line, while there are many tactics that you can use to get a partner to be more truthful, these tactics fail to work when it comes to infidelity.
All of these methods rely on some form of surveillance and careful observation. While these methods can raise some ethical issues see is it ethical to spy on a spouse , they also tend to be very effective. These methods allow you to establish proof of an affair.